To The Single Dad in the Store,
You have the most amazing hazel eyes I've ever seen. And the pinkest lips. They are what my friends and I would call "insta-kissable." The things I could do to those lips!
Your kids are also cute. They're monsters, but cute. You are single, right? Or are you one of those creeps that just doesn't wear a ring? You could be on the "bangable dad" list. If such a list existed. (I may or may not be a little tipsy as I write this. Thanks for nothing, Captain Morgan.)
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that when you're in the veggie aisle at the store, you shouldn't just grab potatoes and melons from someone else's cart.
Your half-secret admirer,
N
P.S. If you want to know more, text me at the number on the back of this envelope.
To N (whose name could be anything),
First off, I'm not a creep. I am not married. I'm glad to hear I'm a" bangable dad". I'm assuming that means you think I'm hot as well. I wish you had handed me this note so I'd know if you had "insta-kissable" lips or "psycho" eyes.
I don't know why I'm texting this message back to you. Maybe a little bit of curiosity. Though they do say curiosity killed the cat. Do you also have kids? Mine are a handful, but I love them.
Send me a photo?
The Single Dad in the Store
P.S. My name is Steele
